A “Mixed” Experience With We Are

Summer Camp Series # 3

By : Janay Powell (she/her), Summer Camp Facilitator

When I was younger, specifically my elementary and middle school aged self, I was very confused about my identity. As a biracial child, I was raised by my white mother and for the most part, grew up around the white side of my family. My father was in prison and there was bad blood between the two sides of my family, so there was no true exposure to the other half of my identity. I went to a predominantly white school until I was 8, and then I moved to a rural place in NC where I went to a predominantly black school. When I attended this new school in the 3rd grade, I felt more comfortable in my skin. But I didn’t understand why. I knew I looked different than the family that I grew up around, but race was never a topic of discussion. I knew that my mother raised me to be loving and kind and that’s all I knew. But when I moved into my new school, I felt more accepted in that space than I had previously. I felt that I looked more like the new students I was meeting, that my teachers looked more like me and what I was seeing in my environment matched what I felt on the inside. I never knew that it was okay to identify with more of one side of myself versus the other, but I knew that I felt more at home where I had moved, versus where I came from.

If I was given the opportunity to attend a camp like we are at that age of 8, or even 6 or 7, I think it would have been a bit easier for me to maneuver through the challenges I faced in life centering around my own personal identity. I would have known the conversations to have with friends when they called me things like “white girl” (which I hated because I didn’t feel as if I looked like a white girl). I would have learned to be more accepting of myself and the way I labeled myself when I looked in the mirror. I feel that I would have had more of an opportunity to teach those around me that we should all be comfortable with the skin we’re in, that race is a social construct and nothing about our races should separate us from each other or the opportunities we are provided.

On the other hand, being able to facilitate conversations with a caucus of campers who identified bi-racial, multiracial, multiethnic or mixed, provided a profound experience. One that I don’t think I would have been able to experience in any other space. It was amazing sitting down with young people who may be having a similar experience that I had as a child, and listening to how reflective and deep they were in articulating their journey through identity was heartfelt and enlightening. I think we often take for granted the fact that there are billions of other people in this world navigating through their own life experiences, but when we are able to find similarities in our experiences, this is when empathy continues to grow

After my summer experience with we are, it’s almost as if a spark of passion was reborn in me, in regards to my career in education. The lessons we teach at camp are not ones designed for any particular academic outcome. They are not attached to data and test scores, and yet, the children learn lessons that they can carry with them, grow into, and teach others. I have become more mindful of how each of my students is grappling with their own identity, and learning how to navigate through their own life experience in regards to that identity. I have taken my role as restorative practices coordinator, and have made it my mission to create a space where students can successfully use their voice to advocate for their needs, especially in the face of those who do not understand them, sort them into buckets, and essentially try and stifle the pieces of them that make them unique and different. I have become more conscious of the fact that our identities shape the way that we experience each hand we are dealt in life. When students learn to cultivate a deeper understanding of self and build a capacity for self-love, it changes the way they are able to more effectively maneuver through their school experience.

My experience at we are camp has also shaped the way I interact with adults in my school space, especially the ones who lack melanin. There have been several instances where I have been afforded the opportunity to “school” administrators and teachers, in a sense, who label our black and brown students as defiant and disrespectful, simply because do not take the time to get to know them, empathize with their real world experiences, or because our students will not conform to a system that was designed against them. It has been enlightening to see just how much power my voice holds when I take the time to use it. And building that same realization in my students, well that's a force to be reckoned with.

I believe all educators, especially those who are trying to radically change the structures and systems put in place in schools that serve black and brown children, should experience this camp at least once. I appreciate the love, care and respect the community of we are has given to me and the students they worked with this past summer. And I appreciate the way they are empowering our younger generations.

Janay Powell has worked in education for seven years across the state of North Carolina. Janay was inspired to teach when she began working closely with school-aged children in a sports setting. She pursued a career in education through a lateral entry program in Robeson County, NC, and has taught ELA across grades 5-12. Janay currently resides in Durham, NC and works as a restorative practices coordinator for Maureen Joy Charter School.