Another March Comes to An End

By Valeria Orozco (she/hers), we are Intern and UNC-Chapel Hill Student

Another March comes to an end.

In the excitement for spring and warmer weather, March has flown by in the blink of an eye. Students at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill have been bringing out their lawn blankets, books, spring outfits, and all kinds of things to share in the lower quad. It’s a beautiful sight— you see people lying on the grass with their friends, enjoying the sunshine while playing instruments, having a picnic, or simply people watching. Spring brings rejuvenation, and all of us who felt like wrinkled raisins in the dark, cold winter have been thanking every extra hour the sun warms the tip of our noses.

            I think the rush for better weather has made us take this month as a steppingstone. It’s almost summer! It’s almost the end of the semester! But in that light, we have forgotten about Women’s History Month. Outside of the social media posts that people love to circulate for the first week of March, how have you recognized and celebrated women in your life?

            Reading books about incredible women was going to be my way of diving into Women’s history. My “To Read” list changed an absurd amount of times though; Instagram reels taking a majority of the time that I had allocated to reading. I eventually got through two books that I think are not only major finds, but that offer both delicate and aggressive ways we can be feminist advocates in March and the rest of the year.

Big Friendship, How We Keep Each Other Close by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman

This is a cute little hardcover memoir about the friendship between Aminatou, a Black woman from Guinea, and Ann, a midwestern-Californian white woman. Together, they narrate their story of the conditions that brought them together, nurtured their friendship, and the difficulties that made them drift apart. They talk beautifully of the way that labels we put on friends can change, and that is okay! The true key to maintaining a safe and beautiful friendship is to be intentional.

            “It has been much harder for us to find a language for the difficult parts: The frustration of giving more to a friend than they’re giving back. The unbridgeable gaps in even the closest of interracial friendships. The dynamic of pushing each other away even as we’re trying to reconnect. The struggle to find true peace with a long-term friendship that is changing… Words like ‘best friend’ or ‘BFF’ don’t capture the adult emotional work we’ve put into this relationship.” (pg xvii)

            This quote alone hooked me for the rest of the book! They point out something incredibly difficult and important to dissect with your friends, especially those who do not come from similar backgrounds. I think every day of Women’s History month many people have made the genuine effort to highlight and uplift women of color. But do we befriend women of color? Do we empathize with them on a deeper level, the intimacy of a friendship? Do we make an effort, even though there are constructed differences that feel like skyscrapers and mountains blocking the entryway to another woman’s heart, to give a friendly and kind smile that can tumble them with ease?

            This book also talks about having friends with chronic illnesses. Having a disability and chronic illness myself, it was truly encouraging to see someone not only share their story, but that of their close friends, who are caught in the crossfire of wanting to take care of you and respecting your autonomy and judgment.

            Aminatou and Ann created Shine Theory. It is the idea that women should highlight one another’s accomplishments under the concept of sisterhood and long-term, mutual and meaningful investment in one another. This theory captures the difference between true feminism and “women’s empowerment.” The former is much more mutual, long term, and dedicated to the needs of any woman—regardless of race, ethnicity, ability, age, sexuality, etc.

            “Shine Theory is intentional. It is accountable. It is personal. And you have to actually put in the work” (pg 82). If you want to read a book about a beautiful friendship that has withstood the stretching that is necessary when things get difficult, you need to check out this book along with their podcast, “Call Your Girlfriend!”

Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women that a Movement Forgot by Mikki Kendall

Although a much harder read, Mikki Kendall does an incredible job of displaying the importance of fighting for true intersectionality in a movement that has been capitalized on by white women. Touching everything from abusive relationships to gun violence, to beauty standards and unjust housing practices, this book dives nose first into the very real issues that disproportionately impact women in the United States.

            This one is a book you can read a chapter at a time, while taking note of the personal anecdotes and evidence that Kendall provides in the narrative. Some parts bring you to tears while others make you smile. Some surprise you and others make you question anything you have heard before on the given topic. It is difficult—challenging and decolonizing a movement that was supposedly meant to uplift everyone is difficult. It fights against the ways that we have thought about feminism previously by putting Black women at the center. Kendall’s narrative, which is that of a single mother who left a very abusive marriage to return to school to study the blind spot of the Feminist movement, coincides perfectly with each theme she dissects in each chapter.

            Learning about concepts that one never used to associate with another is fascinating. How are these experiences correlated? How does change in one affect the other? Feminism is a target of this; many women do not know that gun problems, education problems, housing problems, etc, all are feminist issues. Intersectionality is powerful and determines where we fall in society—how can we handle a society where multiple identities can change the context of our lives? Kendall writes:

            “There’s no magic shield in being middle class that can completely insulate you from the consequences of being in a body that’s already been criminalized for existing.” (pg xiii)

            This book is really powerful if you want to learn about the limitations of solidarity and what direct actions you can take to become more knowledgeable about the world around you. Solidarity alone does nothing— respectability has not won women of color any favors, and white women, while an oppressed group, have the ability to oppress women of color in the status quo. Take a chapter a week, reflect, read more, and make a plan as to how you are going to be an active ally in the fight for women’s rights.

            Women’s History month might be over, but women’s history is every day. To end this blog, I want to remind everyone of my favorite quotes:

            “Well-behaved women seldom make history.”

            Happy March! Happy reading! :)